The 2015 Conference at Auckland

[Note: some of this information may be subject to revision until about March 2015]

The 2014 Conference at Dunedin

Please listen to me

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
All I ask is that you listen.
Not talk or do, just hear me. Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dorothy Dix and Dr Spock in the same newspaper. And I can do that for myself. I'm not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what?s behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.

Author unknown

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